T.E. Lawrence quote ✍️

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We had deluded ourselves that perhaps peace might find the Arabs able, unhelped and untaught, to defend themselves with paper tools. Meanwhile we glozed our fraud by conducting their necessary war purely and cheaply. But now this gloss had gone from me. Chargeable against my conceit were the causeless, ineffectual deaths of Hesa. My will had gone and I feared to be alone, lest the winds of circumstance, or power, or lust, blow my empty soul away.
T.E. Lawrence Seven Pillars of Wisdom: A Triumph britain guilt memoir politics regret

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WAR 809 clues
NATURE 180 clues
REGRET 170 clues
GUILT 92 clues
MEMOIR 90 clues
BRITAIN 49 clues
CHRIST 49 clues
POLITICS 32 clues
STATECRAFT 4 clues
Sickness – Sartre’s first novel
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Hint 1 meaning
Seasickness; hence, any similar sickness of the stomach accompanied with a propensity to vomit; qualm; squeamishness of the stomach; loathing.
Hint 2 anagram
ENAUSA
Hint 3 another clue
PERPLEXED state
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