Patrick McCabe quote ✍️

Quote

You'll have to learn to forgive," he said. "For if you don't, you know what will happen?""What, Doctor?" I croaked, for my outburst had exhausted me." It will destroy you," he said as he handed me the tea. A tear came into my eye when he said it for I knew it was true and I would have loved to be able to do it (not because of its destroying me but because it was right, and deep down I knew that) but I couldn't and the more I thought of it the more the blood came coursing to my head so that whenever I'd write I'd find myself clutching the pencil so tight I broke the lead how many times I don't know, hundreds.
Patrick McCabe Breakfast on Pluto fiction forgiveness

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Sickness – Sartre’s first novel
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Hint 1 meaning
Seasickness; hence, any similar sickness of the stomach accompanied with a propensity to vomit; qualm; squeamishness of the stomach; loathing.
Hint 2 anagram
EAAUSN
Hint 3 another clue
PERPLEXED state
5 +1

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