Pascal Mercier quote ✍️

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One who would really like to know himself would have to be a restless, fanatical collector of disappointments, and seeking disappointing experiences must be like an addiction, the all-determining addiction of his life, for it would stand so clearly before his eyes that disappointment is not a hot, destroying poison, but rather a cool calming balm that opens our eyes to the real contours of ourselves.
Pascal Mercier Night Train to Lisbon

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Sickness – Sartre’s first novel
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Hint 1 meaning
Seasickness; hence, any similar sickness of the stomach accompanied with a propensity to vomit; qualm; squeamishness of the stomach; loathing.
Hint 2 anagram
EANUAS
Hint 3 another clue
PERPLEXED state
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